Keeping Parents in the Loop, Not in the Dark

Rep. Brian Cole

Imagine finding out that someone else made an important life changing decision about your child without your knowledge or consent. For most parents, this thought is unsettling. It’s not about control, but about care. Parents are not just providers; they are protectors, mentors, and the foundation of a child’s well-being. That’s why HB 10 is so important. It ensures that parents remain involved in the lives of the children they love.

This bill is not about politics, nor is it about creating division. It is about reaffirming something we have always known to be true: families are the most important support system a child can have. When parents are informed, they can guide, nurture, and advocate for their children in ways no institution ever could.

Some opponents argue that this bill could put certain children in harm’s way. Let me be clear, protecting children is and always will be a priority. No one wants to see a child in an unsafe environment. That is why New Hampshire has strong laws in place to intervene in cases of abuse or neglect. HB 10 does not change or weaken those protections. What it does do is recognize that in the vast majority of cases, parents are the people best equipped to support their children.

At the heart of this discussion is a simple question: Should schools and other institutions have the power to withhold personal, significant information about a child from their own parents? I believe the answer is no. When schools keep secrets from parents, it does not build trust, it erodes it.

A recent case in Manchester brought this issue to light once again. A mother was denied information about her child’s request to use different pronouns at school. This was not because she was deemed unfit or unsafe, but because of a policy that decided she didn’t have the right to know. That decision was not made by her, by her child, or by a counselor—it was made by the school. That is not the role of our education system.

Opponents of HB 10 suggest that schools provide a “safe space” for children to express themselves. While teachers and school staff may play an invaluable role in a child’s life, they cannot in any way replace the love, support, and long-term guidance that comes from a family. True safety comes from strengthening the relationship between parents and children, not driving a wedge in between and weakening it.

This bill does not tell parents how to respond to their children’s needs. It does not dictate how families should navigate sensitive conversations. It simply ensures that parents have the information necessary to be part of those discussions.

Transparency should not be controversial. Schools and families should work together, not at odds. When parents and educators are partners, children reap the benefits.

The bottom line is this: Parents deserve to be trusted. They deserve to be informed. They deserve to be part of their children’s journey. HB 10 is not just a piece of legislation—it is a reaffirmation of the values that keep families strong. It is time to pass this bill and ensure that parental rights remain at the heart of our policies.

State Representative Brian Cole, Hillsborough 26, Manchester